God’s Design for Marital Love
When people think of Christianity and sex, some assume that Christians are prudish—uncomfortable with the topic or trying to suppress desire. But the truth is, God designed sex and celebrates it within marriage. The Bible is not silent about this. The entire book, Song of Solomon, is dedicated to the beauty of love and intimacy between a husband and wife.
Unlike the world, which often flaunts sexuality without boundaries, God presents sex as something sacred, intensely pleasurable, and meant to flourish in the safety of lifelong commitment. The Song of Solomon is written in poetic language, full of innuendo—so that if a child read it, they wouldn’t be corrupted, but if a married couple read it, they would be stirred.
The Beauty of Exclusive Love
“I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me” (Song of Solomon 7:10). God’s design is for a man and woman to be fully known, fully loved, and wholly given to one another. The longing and delight described in the Song of Solomon show deep, passionate, physical, and emotional love. This is not a cold, transactional relationship but one of joyful pursuit. The bride says, “My beloved is mine, and I am his” (2:16), showing the security and satisfaction that come with exclusivity.
Studies confirm what Scripture teaches—couples who marry first and then share intimacy tend to have stronger marriages. Research has shown that couples who cohabit before marriage are more likely to divorce than those who wait until after marriage to live together. One study found that couples who marry first and then are intimate have a 35% higher rate of staying married than those who live together before marriage. God’s design isn’t about restriction; it’s about setting up a foundation for lifelong love.
The Pleasure of God’s Design
The world says pleasure comes from freedom—jumping from person to person for excitement. But true pleasure, the most profound joy, comes from being with the one you love and have built a life with.
“Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love” (Proverbs 5:18-19). God isn’t against pleasure—He created it. He designed it to be enjoyed in a way that leads to lasting joy, not fleeting regret. This can only be found in God’s design of one man and one woman for life.
The Call to Purity
While God celebrates sex in marriage, He also calls us to protect it before marriage. The bride’s refrain throughout Song of Solomon is: “I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.” (2:7, 3:5, 8:4) This is a call to wait until marriage for intimacy, not because God wants to withhold something good but because He wants us to experience it at the right time and in the right way. Rushing ahead of God’s plan can lead to heartbreak, but waiting leads to something more prosperous and fulfilling.
A Love Worth Waiting For
God’s way is not about restriction—it’s about flourishing. He gives us the gift of intimacy, not as something to flaunt but to cherish. The most profound pleasure is found not in chasing after fleeting encounters but in the lifelong joy of being with the one you love.
This Valentine’s Day, may we celebrate love the way God designed it—full of passion, commitment, and joy. “Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it” (8:7). That kind of love is worth pursuing.