Several years ago a local church had a small marriage enrichment weekend retreat. Our church was invited and several couples attended. It was a great time for everyone to get away from the kids, hear God’s Word, and take time to focus on growing our marriages.
The speaker that weekend was Doug Finkbeiner, a Christian college professor. This was the first time I met Doug, but within the first session, I could tell that he was going to be exactly what my wife and I needed. He taught the scripture well, and gave lots of practical insight on how to strengthen our marriage through the grace of God.
One thing that Doug brought out was Adam’s first words to Eve, his wife, after God created her. Genesis 2:23 says, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” The note I wrote in my Bible that Doug said was, “the first thing Adam said to Eve were words of affirmation.”
There are several things that Adam is saying here in this small verse. Adam had only been created for several days, yet he anticipated and needed a companion – someone who was human. The animals were not going to cut it. He actually says, “at last.” It was as if Adam had waited for years for something. Imagine Adam’s patience as he looked around creation and saw there was no one like him to share life with. He saw many animals, but no one that he could communicate with daily on a personal level.
We see that these are words of affirmation. Adam is excited about his new bride. He loves her once his eyes are upon her. He realizes that without her something is missing.
In his book, The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman lays out five love languages that people speak. He says that every person has a primary love language which, when those things are done for them, they feel especially loved more than when other things are said and done for them.
It is not a super scientific method, but it can definitely enhance your marriage if you can better understand what your spouse enjoys more than other things. You may be giving lots of love, but another area of love may be what they desire more. The five love languages are physical touch, quality time, acts of service, receiving gifts, and words of affirmation.
Adam was giving the latter to Eve from the time he met her. We find our first love language being given human to human in Genesis 2:23. He’s essentially saying, “You are everything I hoped for and desire.”
What words of affirmation can you give to your spouse today? What is their love language? How can you better love them through meeting their needs?
Thanks for taking time to read this Maddening Theology post. If you enjoyed this content you can find Pastor Tim’s sermons at www.cornerstoneforestcity.org. You can also join us at 520 Marion St. Browndale, PA 18421 on Sundays at 10:45 AM. To make following the blog easier you can also register. You can also join us on Facebook at Cornerstone Forest City. Also, don’t forget to download our APP on iTunes or Googleplay.