One thing God commissioned wives and husbands to do from the beginning was to build a new family. God says that “a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh (Genesis 2:24a).”
The interesting thing here is that God commanded Adam and Eve to do this, they didn’t have biological parents. They were our first parents. Yet, God was establishing families from the beginning of time. Here are 8 practical ways to build a new family.
#1 Get your own place. It’s hard to establish a new family if you are still living with your folks. Of course, if mom is elderly, and needs care that is different. But God meant each couple to be their own unit, and it’s hard to do that if you are sharing a space with others.
#2 Start your own traditions. In some ways you are still a part of your original families. You should be a part of some of their traditions. But you will never have time to do the traditions of both of your extended families and have your own. You will need to pick and choose which ones of theirs to do and start making your own memories also.
#3 Make your own decisions. It is good and wise to get sound advice from your parents. They are older, and have seen more in life. That being said, not all parents are wise and godly. Also, at some point, you need to make decisions on your own. Every time you make your own decisions, you continue to develop your own family. Making sure extended family doesn’t meddle is key to building a new family.
#4 Create clear boundaries. Every couple needs to decide what boundaries they will give their extended family. Mom and dad shouldn’t be a part of every weekend dinner out, vacation, or be able to pop in unannounced. You should be kind in this, but be firm that you now have your own family.
#5 Practice intimacy often. Scripture actually talks about this in I Corinthians 7:5. Practicing intimacy often helps create a connection. Recent neuroscience shows that when you practice intimacy with one another, chemicals in your brain help you connect to one another in a way you can’t with anyone else. It helps you form a bond with your spouse.
#6 Combine your finances together. Many couples struggle with this. Some of it is the idea that they want their own financial independence or freedom. This is the opposite of what marriage is. If you plan and budget together, save together, lose together, and win financially together, you will help build your marriage as a couple.
#7 Make goals together. Much like finances, you can also combine your dreams together. What is the size of family you would like to have? What are some of your retirement dreams? What do you want to do with your careers? Where would you like to travel? Planning goals together will help you build your own family.
#8 Spend time as a new family without your old family. This is really hard to do, especially when you are newly married. You have come to thanksgiving for the last 24 years, why wouldn’t you now? The reality is you now have two extended families and your own family. You can’t do it all. You need time for yourself. Make sure you are spending time by yourselves to be talking, building your relationship, dreaming, and working on your marriage together.
For more articles from Tim on marriage you can click the link below.
https://maddeningtheology.org/category/marriage
Thanks for taking time to read this Maddening Theology post. If you enjoyed this content you can find Pastor Tim’s sermons at www.cornerstoneforestcity.org. You can also join us at 520 Marion St. Browndale, PA 18421 on Sundays at 10 AM. To make following the blog easier you can also register. You can also join us on Facebook at Cornerstone Forest City. Also, don’t forget to download our APP on iTunes or Googleplay.
Marriage, relationships, family, intimacy, budget